Underwhelming Ancient Greek Philosopher’s Works Discovered Recently unearthed documents have delighted archeologists and historians alike with the discovery of a literal treasure trove of discarded writings from the almost entirely forgotten and universally ignored philosopher Moronocles (more-on-uh-cleez) who, like Plato, was also a student of Socrates. Little is known about his early life and education, but unlike his famous teacher, Socrates, who never wrote anything down, Moronocles seems to have written everything down. Every thought, no matter how useless, was preserved with painstaking accuracy and stored in a dumpster behind the home of his friend and contemporary, Plato. The voluminous cache of well-preserved documents are sometimes neatly chiseled into tablets, others scribbled on worn-out sandals or cocktail napkins--one entire manuscript is written in tiny print on the discarded toga of Moronocles’ morbidly obese neighbor Diabetes. Based on ancient sources, modern schola
If Women Played in the NBA There is no rule that says NBA players have to be men, yet there are no women on the court. Since most of our institutions are designed to please women, there may come a time when teams will be required to play at least one woman, but more likely, teams would be required to make half of their teams female. If this happens, we may begin to see the following: Woman: His hand brushed against my breasts! LeBron: I was just trying to get the ball! Ref: Your intentions don’t matter! [blows whistle] By the way, these are not jokes….this could actually happen. Some other future quotes from the female players: “The coach said I needed to lose some weight, I have filed a lawsuit because I am being body-shamed!” “These men are too rough! I keep getting hurt!” (prompting new rule that players cannot touch each other) ”You called travelling on me for taking three steps but I should be allowed to take three steps because they are taller than me and I cannot go as far wi